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Q: My boyfriend is bipolar
but I think he is more, he is taking medication for squizofrenia, and I
don't understand why? he hear voices the last time he scare me, he said
the voice tell him to do things, I don't know what to do, we living
together now and I have 2 kids, I have to worry about it?please I need
advice. He is talking a lot of medication, and his doctor change the
medicine all the time, the last time his lithium level was very hight. He
change his mood all the time , sometimes he love me to much other times he
hate me, my life and my stress is going up and down the same. His mother
control and manipulate him a lot, right now he told me his mom said
everything happen to him is my fault.
Dear G,
First, it's not unusual for someone with bipolar disorder to be
taking anti- sychotic medication, also used for schizophrenia. This type
of medication has multiple uses such as to decrease overall agitation,
increase sleep, etc. in addition to managing psychotic symptoms. The
problem is, your boyfriend needs to report to his psychiatrist that he is
hearing voices as soon as possible because obviously one of his
medications is not working or he needs to have his meds re-evaluated
altogether.
You have every right to be concerned especially with 2 small
children. You also have the choice to attempt to talk to your boyfriend's
psychiatrist in order to explain what you are seeing and to try to find
out his or her professional opinion as to what sort of risk you might be
placing your family in at this time. You're in a very difficult situation
to advise right now. Generally speaking, the best predictor of your
boyfriend's behavior is how he has behaved in the past. Is he strictly
compliant with taking his medications, reporting his symptoms, keeping his
appointments, taking responsibility for his actions, accepting input from
others about his behavior and using it to enhance his treatment, etc.? If
this is not how he has acted in the past, he is not likely to do this
suddenly in the future although he can gradually learn these skills if he
wants to. One thing you MUST know. Untreated or poorly treated bipolar
disorder ALWAYS causes problems- his hearing voices, the variability in
his mood, loving you then hating you, and stating that everything is your
fault suggest great instability with his disorder that requires immediate
medical attention. This does not necessarily mean he is going to hurt you
or your children but it does not rule it out either- this is why you must
try to talk to his psychiatrist for his professional opinion.
As far as your boyfriend goes, you cannot force him to change but you
CAN get clear and set boundaries about what you will and will not tolerate
regarding his behavior and untreated bipolar disorder, then you have to
stick to what you say.
Recommended Reading: Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder, Julie A. Fast,
2004.
David Schafer, M.Ed.
Staff Psychologist
Published May, 2006
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